Supplies Necessary (Thursday)

So, yeah, I need to get paper.

...

I hate this, working with no results.

I don't know why I even try these days, no good ever comes of it.

Yes, most of this post will be a pity-party and random thoughts about what I need to do, so I give you permission to disregard this post.

Have a nice day.

---

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ever get that feeling that the whole world's conspiring against you?

Yeah.

It must be.

Because quite frankly, if the world didn't give me so many issues, the little stuff wouldn't be a problem.

So I need paper, but more importantly I need to shake off this artblock/incompetence/laziness/unmotivatedness/stupidity/lack of confidence thing I've got going here.

I mean, I don't even want to draw these days.

=|

I'm not satisfied anymore. Nothing I do is good enough. Every time I look at someone else's work I just get more disappointed than inspired, because I feel I'll never be as good.

Maybe I've been trying too hard to be good than thinking about being original.

Then again, when I think I'm good enough I want to create something new and exciting.

I really don't care how many of you say I'm good, in response I'm always thinking 'I'm not as good as they are.'

Maybe I've been focusing too long on drawing.

Maybe I should try painting, or pastels, or charcoal.

Maybe I should try drawing landscapes, buildings, or animals.

Maybe I should just quit.

I do need to focus more on school, but I don't want to work on that either these days. Well, I always think school's boring, but I've felt less inclined to put effort in.

I just know any art teacher would hate me.

I want to do what I want when I want to do it, and I really don't care.

Even most of the projects I set for myself have never been finished.

I have a lot of things to consider.

Go with God,

~Allie